HLIB: 11:11

Vash's POV



Inabot sa akin ni Seb ang bagog bukas niyang beer. Andito kami ngayong tatlo nina Warren sa condo ni Seb and we are trying to unwind. Maya-maya daw ay bar hopping naman, but I am too tired to do bar hopping today..



"So?" Warren


Napa tingin ako sa kanya. Alam kong bawat isa sa amin ay may mga kinakaharap na problema, but they're still here just to make me feel I'm not alone.



"Ano?"




"Ano bang balak mo Pre? Ayokong ganito tayo." Warren






"Bakit? Ano ba tayo?" Ako





"Anong ginawa mo kay Hiro?"




Napa tiim bagang ako, Ganito na ba talaga ako ka babaw sa paningin nila? Makakayako bang ipabugbog si Hiro just to get even with him??




"Wala siyang kinalaman doon." Seb



Napatingin kami sa kanya habang busy siya sa kung ano man ang tininginan niya sa Laptop niya.




"Alam mo pre, kapag ikaw nagsabi, paniniwalaan ko na lang." Sagot ni Warren kay Seb.



Napangiti kami ni Seb. Seb has this aura na kapag sinabi niya, mapapa OO ka na lamang, napaka unpredictable niya at napaka mysterious, Well, I am not here to tackle about his story, if you want to know Seb more, visit his story.



"So what are your plans now?" Seb to me




"I dont know."




"Just a piece of advice bro, If you really love her, stop and avoid all the drama, come and get her, if you have something to say to her, just go and tell her, before she hear the alternate version and its too late for you to get her again." Seb



"What should I say to her? We broke up already."




"I know its somewhat awkward to say this because I'm a guy, but, as what they always say, listen to your heart, forget about what happened in the past, I mean, let go, both of you had mistakes and always remember that even though our heart is on the left side, it's always right when it comes to love."




"You're a lost cause bro." Warren




"What should I do?" i asked them




"Tinatanong pa ba yan? Talk to her! Halata naman kasing mahal niyo ang isa't-isa pero ewan ko ba kung anong drama niyo."



"I am confused." I admitted



Anong iisipin ko? Gulong-gulo ako ngayon, I've hurt two girls, one is my friend and the other one is the woman I love.




"Just limit yourself to other person, you might not know what are their intentions, you might be surprised, sinasaksak ka na pala ng harapan." Seb




As soon as Seb said that I remember what happened early morning today.







Flashbacks..




I woke up with the smell of brewed coffee and the aroma of pancakes. Nagbilang ako hanggang lima until an idea of last night flooded my mind. I hurriedly stand and wore my boxers. I know I made a really huge mistake.


I saw her busy getting something from the cupboard. She's wearing my shirt. I must say bagay sa kanya ang damit ko. Tumikhim ako just to get her attention.



"Hey! Good Morning! Breakfast is ready!" Masayang bati niya sa akin.



Lumapit siya at ikinawit niya ang kamay niya sa braso ko, pero kumawala ako agad.




"Linds..."




"Ano gusto mo? Nagluto ako ng hotdog, egg, pancakes, nag grocery rin ako, I even made you coffee--"




"You don't need to do this stuffs."





"But I am enjoying."




"Linds, last...uhm... last night.."





"Tara kain na tayo. Alam kong gutom ka na. May paracetamol din diyan, I know hang-over sucks!"




"You don't understand."





"What we did last night was the best thing that ever happened to me."





Napatiim bagang ako, I really don't know what to say. I had s*x with her last night and everything we did last night was wrong.. I was.. drunk..





I took a deep breathe. Ayoko siyang paasahin sa mga bagay na alam kong di ko kayang ibigay. I know she loves me and it scares the hell out of me, I mean, she's Lindsey, she is River's sister or half sister, or whatever they call it and I got inside her pants.




Ayoko siyang masaktan but i need to say this things to her bago pa lumalim kung ano ang nararamdaman niya.




"Linds, what happened last night was .... Nothing"






"But...but you said, I'm the girl, you've.."





"I was referring to River.."




"Ow. Ok. but, you didn't..-"




"I was drunk. "




"And I was there."





"Yeah."





"I don't know what to say." Lindsey





"let's just forget that it happened. Can we?"





I know she was deeply hurt pero kailangan kong sabihin ito sa kanya.





"I really love River and I am planning on picking up the pieces we've left. And start Anew."




"But she cheated on you!!!"






"That's all in the past now.."






"Geez! Ano bang mayroon ang babaeng iyon n halos lahat sa kanya na?!"






"I just...love...her"






End of Flashback..





The following day ay maaga akong gumising. I have class. Epal rin tong ulan na to dahil di na tumigil sa kakabuhos simula pa kahapon. Bitbit ang bag ko at payong i headed to my classroom but someone caught my attention.






I was heading to my room when I saw her. Yes her. River. She's at the long bench of the school, standing and playing with the rain, she's a bit wet, maybe she forgot her umbrella againn. Yun pa eh napaka makakalimutin nun. I checked my watch, I know her sched t alam kong late na siya sa class niya.




I don't have a choice but to come nearer to her. Nang akmang susugod siya sa ulan ay tumakbo na ako palapit sa kanya. Sumugod na siya sa ulan pero hinabol ko siya. Can you figure it out? Ng nahabol ko siya ay tumabi ako sa kanya sabay akbay para di kami mabasa lalo ng ulan.




I know she was shocked, I can feel how her body reacted, she stiffened.





"Bawal magkasakit ngayon at di usong gumawa ng music vieo kung ganito kalakas ang bagyo."






She just stared at me blankly for a minute. And then I tried to get her attention. As I look into her eyes, nakikita ko ang namumuong luha dito, she bite her lip, maybe just to stop her self from crying.





ITS NOW OR NEVER.





"What?" I asked her





Umiling lang siya.




Here, under the umbrella, while the rain is pouring hard, we stopped and we were just like talking not minding that we are really getting wet.






"Why can't you look at me in the eyes?" I asked her






"you are really asking me that huh?"






"Yes?"





"Seeing you, breaks my heart" she said





"And knowing that i'm breaking your heart, breaks my heart too."






"I don't understand."






"Lets, talk..."







"We are talking.."







"How are you?" I asked her, wala na akong masabi eh.




"I'm good."




"Are you telling the truth?"




"If you are asking me how am I, I'm doing fine, if you'll ask me to stop lying and just tell the fckin truth, I will just shrug my shoulders, because to be completely honest with you, I'm not doing okay since you left me, but I will still say, that I'm fine, and you don't need to worry about me because I'll still be okay, even if it hurts me a million times."







"We're the same." Yan lang ang nasabi ko sa kanya. Sariwa pa ang nangyari sa nakaraan but i'm trying my best to forget about it.





"You've changed"






Natawa ako ng pagak after she said that. Me? changed?





"Well, what do you expect? Are you expecting me to just sit back and relax after seeing you..."






"Vash if you just listened to me!!!!"






"I saw everything."






"But it doesn't mean, I am cheating on you!!"





"Maybe, hanggang doon na lang talaga tayo. "





I saw when a tear fell from her eyes and i stopped my self para hindi lang pahidan iyon.





"They say, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. But the truth is, you actually knew what you had, you just thought you'd never lose it. Sana kasi nakinig ka lang sa akin, sana kasi pinagpaliwanag mo ako, sana kasi inintindi mo ako, ikaw naman talaga mahal ko eh, ikaw lang, kaso dahil sa wala kang tiwala nasira lahat. Nasira tayo."





"Di naman talaga tayo nasira ng tuluyan eh, I wanna be with you pero kailangan ko munang buuin ang tiwala ko. Its just that, once you've been hurt, you're scared, and i am scared, so scared to get attached again. Like, I have this fear, that you might hurt me again."




"I've wasted too much time and effort and energy trying to make things work again. But maybe, this is now the right time for me to say I'm moving on and saying goodbye?"




"Just don't give up on me yet please?" I asked her






"minahal mo ba talaga ako?"





I am not yet ready to admit what I feel for her. Of course i love her!









"There hasn't been a day that I stopped wanting you, and you haven't got out of my head at all since i first met you.I'm willing to forget the past,  11:11 happens twice a day because everyone deserves a second chance, and we deserve a 2nd chance."

HLIB: Madness

Mula sa kinatatayuan ko ay kitang-kita ko kung paano niya lunurin ang sarili niya sa alak. I've been to a lot of hell, pero alam kong, mas sobra ang pinagdadaanan niya ngayon kaysa sa mga pinagdaanan ko.

I've seen how deeply hurt he was when River stood him up, I've seen the way he looked at her, the way he smiled when he saw her, the way she brightened his day. I've seen alot. And I know, I need to do something for them to break apart.

Lumapit na ako sa kinaroroonan niya bago pa may mga talipandas na nama na lumapit sa kanya. 

The day when River and i went to his condo and saw that girl, wala akong kaalam-alam doon, that's why I reacted that way, hamakin mo, ang mahal mo may ksamang ibang babae sa condo niya?!

Napatigil sa ere ang hawak niyang drink ng makita niya ako.

"What?" He asked.

"Let's go."

"What do you want?"

"you're drunk."

"No I'm not."

"Hindi ka ba nagsasawa na sa bawat gabi ng buhay mo ay tumutungga ka?? Napapagod na akong sunduin ka sa tuwing nalalasing ka!"

"Hindi ko naman sinabi sayo na puntahan mo ako diba??"

"Oo, pero I'm worried."

"You don't need to be worried."

"Vash, that night-."

"Oh shut up Lindsey!"

"Why should i shut up when you made me feel important with just a fleeting seconds Vash??"

"That was just a kiss."

"No it wasn't! You kissed me!"

"Yeah, so?"

The night of their monthsary, I was there, I also waited. Doon ko nakita ang labis niyang pag-aalala sa isang tao and i know that moment I already gave my heart to him. He was really devastated, i was with him when he tried to find her.

I was there when he knew that River spent the night with Hiro, but he kept his mouth shut, he pretended he doesn't know a thing. Alam kong masakit sa parte niya lalo pa at nalaman niyang ang nag-iisang kapatid niya ay nagloloko.At alam kong ang mga itinuring niyang kaibigan ay pinagtakpan ang kasalanan ng dalawang taong importate sa kanya.

And how did she found out that River really spent the night with Hiro? He contacted all of her friends, including her teammates para malaman kung nasaan siya, but his sister Venice told us that she actually saw River with Hiro that night.

Alam kong masakit sa part ni Vash, alam kong masakit sa kanya na ang nag-iisang babaeng minahal niya ay niloko siya pero nagpaka martyr pa rin siya. His reasons?

Maniniwala lamang siyang may namamagitan kina Hiro at River kung makikita ng dalawang mata niyang niloloko nga siya. And he actually saw.

I won't elaborate more kung paano niya nakita at paano niya nahuli sina River.

"Come on." Ako

"You know what, stop acting like my Mom, come here, sit here with me and let's drink to death!"

Tumabi na ako sa kanya. Alam kong mauulit lamang ang drama namin sa tuwing nalalasing siya.

Nakailang shots pa lamang ako ng magsimula ng maglitanya si Vash.

"You know what? I consider you as my bud!"

"Why?"

"You never left my side though even my friends betrayed me."

"Because I love you."

"F*ck that love! Tingnan mo nga ginawa ng pagmamahal sayo? Sa akin??"

Vash knows about my Ex Diego. Kahit na sinabi kong lalayuan ko na si Diego but he keeps on hunting me, kaya wala akong magagawa but to stick with him.

"Even if she betrayed you, I will never do that, kasi mahal kita, mahal na mahal kita at gagawin ko ang lahat, makalimutan mo siya."

"How can you say that thing infront of me kung kapatid mo siya?"

"She's not my sister for Christ sake! I hate her, hated her for so long!"

"Pero mukhang okay naman kayo ah?"

Hindi ko masabi kay Vash na the only reason why I choose to befriend River was all because of him.

"You know what? Nasaktan rin pala ako, ganoon pala yung feeling ng nasasaktan?" Vash

"Yeah."

"I did everything for her, I gave everything for her, the S*x? I made it all so good, Nangako ako eh, nangako ako sa mga pesteng pangakong yan, umasa ako, nagsugal ako, pero eto pa igaganti niya? Saan ba ako nagkulang? Pinaramdam ko naman sa kanya lahat ah? bakit siya pa rin? Bakit sa kaibigan ko pa? Bakit ang best friend ko pa rin ang mahal niya?"

"Vash..."

"You know what? Everytime she begs for me to talk to her, I hold every emotions i have on her, dahil gusto kong maranasan niya rin ang nararanasan ko, ang naransan ko ng niloko niya at sinaktan niya ako. Tell me? Am i that bad huh? Na kahit na pareho na kaming nasasaktan, i still hold my feelings back para di ko lamang siya mayakap sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang nasasktan ng dahil sa akin."

"WAG KA NG BUMALIK SA KANYA!"

"Gusto ko lang namang ibalik ang tiwala ko sa kanya para kapag naging okay na ang lahat, hindi ko na maaalala ang panloloko niya. Pero ano? Makikita ko siyang masaya at nakikipagtawanan sa Nathan na iyon? Pinapakita niya lang na gagawin na naman niya akong tanga kapag nakipagbalikan ako sa kanya!"

"Tama na vash! Tama na yung lahat ng ginawa mo para sa kanya, tama ng nahuli mo na siyang kinakalanti ang kaibigan mo!"

"Kahit na tang*na nasakta na niya ako, andito pa rin siya eh, andito pa rin siya sa puso ko! P*ta! Kung ganito pala ang pagmamahal sana di nalamang ako nagmahal!"

"Forget about her! She doesn't deserve someone like you!"

"Its..Its...so hard...so hard to forget someone... someone who gave you so much...so much to remember."

"I'm here!"

"Yes you're here and you're making things more complicated than what I've thought! Pareho kaming nagkasala, Icheated on her, i kissed you and that was a mistake, then she, she cheated on me."

Tumayo na si Vash and all i can do is to help him walk straightly until sa condo niya. The moment he seated on the pasengers seat alam kong nakatulog na siya so i drived him home.

I started to take his shoes off of him ng nasa bed na siya when i heard him saying something.

"What?"

Bigla siyang naupo. He stared at me for a moment.

"Come here." He said

Lumapit ako sa kanya, pinaupo niya ako sa kandungan niya. literal na nagulat ako, pero di ko pinahalata lalo na ng nagsimula siyang halikan ako sa leeg ko.

"You're the most wonderful girl I've ever met."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

He made me face him. He stared at  me again and then he lowered his face unto mine. Naramdaman ko na lamang ang labi ni Vash sa labi ko. At first, it was just a simple kiss pero nahalinhinan iyon ng kakaibang klase ng halik. His kisses turned aggressive and wanting.

And all I can do is to give that kiss for him..

Lalo na ng tinaas niya na ang t-shirt ko. I know, I know, something will happen, something.. i won't forget for the rest of my freakin life, something that made me so happy but at the same time caused my heart break.

Because when he reached his peak, he said something that broke my heart into a million pieces.

"River. I love you." Vash said.

Sisterhood Pledge

I (Say your name) swear to do everything I can for my Fortis et Liber Sisterhood.

I pledge to always promote, uplift, encourage, and support sisterly love through our sisterhood. I pledge to be honest, dedicated, pure, open-minded, and supportive to one another.

I will deal with my own insecurities and I will never tolerate anyone to disrespect or belittled or mistreated by anyone.

We pledge to spread love, to follow our dreams, and be an example of a strong, free and powerful women.

We pledge through our sisterhood to always maintain non-judging zone where all women can feel free to express and impress without fear of being pre-judged.

HLIB: Pain and Everything

Chapter 31















Nathan's POV









I've heard the news about their break up. Wala naman akong masasabi dahil di naman kami close ng ex niya. Andito kami ngayong dalawa sa Library, at ginagamot ko ang mga lapnos niya sa kamay. ewan ko nga ba sa babaeng ito at bakit kahit ilang beses ng nasasaktan at pinagtatabuyan ay wala pa ring pakialam, na kahit mugto, at pagod na ay sumusugod pa rin sa gyera.









Nakakapagtaka lang nuh? Bakit ganoon ang mga babae, kapag naghihiwala sila ng taong mahal nila eh parang binagsakan ng sangkaterbang malas at problema? Why dont she just move on and accept the fact na hindi na talaga sila pwede?









Tanga rin naman kasi ang lalaking yun. Kung mahal niya ang babaeng ito, makikinig yun sa paliwanag kaso hindi eh.









Balita ko pang, pinabugbog daw niya yung kaibigan niyang Hiro ang pangalan. Syempre itong si River nag-alala rin kaso di naman magawang lapitan ang Hiro na yun dahil baka daw malaman ni Vash, magkanda leche-leche pa ang pagbabalikan nila.











"GET OVER HIM" Sabi ko na lang bigla sa kanya.











Napatingin siya sa akin, then she just smiled.













"Sorry, i can't."











"He's not even worth it. He is not worth your time or your tears. Yeah! You Love him. I know that and I know you just can’t see yourself with anyone other than him."









"Yun naman pala eh. Hayaan mo na lamang ako." River











"Why you should spend all your time sitting here, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is and who he is with and what he's doing right now. Do you honestly think he is thinking about you?"











"I'm sure he do. Yun pa eh, walang oras na hindi nagte-text yun noon."











"Exactly! NOON! Ngayon, nagtext ba?"











"Just don't mind me."











"Its my business because you're my friend! You’ll gonna see him soon with one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself,cause i know its gonna hurt."











"I'm used to it."











Paano ba naman kasi di masasanay ang babaeng ito eh sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos ay iba-iba ang babaeng kasama ng ex niya?









"Yeah, paano? Immuned ka ng nakikita yang ungas na yan na may kasama at nilalanding iba."











She just smiled at me. Seriously????









Does that guy have any idea how lucky he is to have someone as martyr as her?!

















River's POV







Masakit.











Masakit palang isipin na hanggang dito na lang talaga ata kami. Na, kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao kung sarado na ang isipan niyang makinig sa mga paliwanag mo, balewala na talaga.







Masakit, kasi sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos, araw-araw rin ako nagdurusa sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang may kasamang iba. Its been what, 2 weeks? 2 weeks since we broke up. Pero nasasaktan pa rin ako, lalo na sa tuwing nakikita kong hindi na ako ang dahilan ng bawat ngiti niya.









Alam kong kasalanan ko, kasalanan ko kung bakit hinayaan kong halikan ako ni Hiro, hinayaan kong manaig ang sigaw ng puso ko kesa dito sa lintek na isip ko. Nagpadala ako sa nararamdaman ko.Kumbaga, natukso ako. Parang My Husband's Lover lang ang peg namin.









Ano bang dapat na gawin ko? The last time I heard ay magka-away pa rin si Hiro at si Vash. Ayokong mangyari yun. Gusto kong magka-ayos sila, ngunit di ko alam kung anong dapat gawin. Iniiwasan ko na ring mapalapit kay Hiro. Mahirap nang may masabi pa ulit siya.





Lantad na sa buong school ang break up namin, naiinis nga ako sa ibang students na, lantaran ang pagpaparinig sa akin, kesyo daw, pinagsawaan na ako ni Vash, may mga naaawa sa akin, mayroon ring natuwa dahil sa paghihiwalay namin. Totoo naman, lahat  ng sinasabi nila, totoo. But I choose to shut my mouth.







I am now heading to their building. I am hoping na ngayon, kakausapin na niya ako. I baked something for him, I baked carrot muffin, because I know he likes that food. Ilang beses akong pumalpak sa pag gawa nito but after some times of trying to make things perfect ay nagawa ko rin.











I took a deep breathe ng nasa labas na ako ng classroom nila.











I asked one of his classmates ng mapadaan ito sa harap ko.







"Si Vash?"









Sinundan ko ang mga mata ng pinagtanungan ko, and there, i saw him, making out with another girl. Again.









(A/N: Play the song at the right)









It broke my heart. Wala na ba talagang pag-asa na magkabalikan kami? I am still hoping na magka ayos kami. Wala na ba talaga?









I hold my tears back, naglakad ako palapit sa kanila. Ng maramdaman ata nilang nasa gilid nila ako, ay tumigil sila. I smiled at him as soon as he looked at me.









"Nandito ka na naman?" Vash coldly said.













"hi, am...I baked you something." Sabi ko











I gave him my most genuine smile.









Napatingin ako sa babaeng kahalikan niya kanina, I looked directly in her eyes, I pleaded, sana makuha niya ang nais kong iparating.











"We can continue this later babe." Girl









Tumayo na ito pero hinawakan ni Vash sa braso.











"No, Don't leave, we're not done yet." Vash











"But, you and her need to talk."









Hindi ko inaasahan ang sunod na sinabi ni Vash sa akin.













"Ilang beses ko bang dapat sabihin sayo na tapos na tayo? Di ka ba napapagod sa kakabalik at kakadala ng kung ano-ano dito? Ano ba sa mga sinabi ko ang di mo naiintindihan ha?"









Kusa na lamang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Araw-araw ganito ang nangyayari sa amin ni Vash. Pasalamat na lamang ako ngayon at mahaba-haba ang sinabi niya.









"I just want us to talk."









"Hindi pa ba pag-uusap tong ginagawa natin? You're wasting my time."







"Pwede bang kahit ngayon pakinggan mo naman ako?"











"Ano pa bang sasabihin mo???"







"Mahal kita at di ko intensyong gawin yun!"











"Save that bullshits, I don't wanna hear any of them."









"Pero.. Pakinggan mo naman ako oh."











"Nakakarindi ka na kasi, tapos na tayo, sawa na ako sayo, pinagsawaan na kita, di mo pa rin ba nakukuha yun??"











"Hindi ako naniniwala sayo."







"Edi wag, pinipilit ba kitang paniwalaan ako?"







Tumayo na siya, hahakbang na sana palabas ng pinto ng nagsalita ako.







"Yung..Yung sinabi mo noong gabing iyon, yung mga pangako at mga regalo mo, totoo ba yun?"







"You're just wasting my time."







"Sabihin mo, diba sabi mo, na kahit na anong mangyari, ako at ako lang ang paniniwalaan mo? Na sa akin ka lang makikinig? Na sa akin ka lang magtitiwala? Anong nangyari doon?"





"You really believed to all that shits huh?"





"Oo, dahil alam kong mahal mo ako! Diba mahal mo ako? Mahal mo ako diba? So bakit mo ako ginaganito? Bakit mo pianpahirapan ang sarili natin? Nagkasala ako, inaamin ko, pero magpapaliwana naman ako eh. Makinig ka lang, kasi kung talagang mahal mo ako, makikinig ka, makikinig ka sa akin. Kasi Mahal mo ako."









"Who said to you that i love you?"











"Ramdam ko, alam kong mahal mo ako."











"Don't assume and expect too much."











"Bakit? Sa mga pinakita mo, hindi pa ba pagmamahal iyon? Mahal mo ako diba?"









"Narinig mo bang sinabi kong mahal kita?"









"You made me .... you made me feel that you love me."











"Gusto mo ba talagang malaman ang lahat? At kapag nalaman mo, titigilan mo na ako?"











Alam kong di ko magugustuhan ang maaari niyang sabihin ngunit, nakinig pa rin ako, umasang, sasabihin niyang, Mahal niya rin ako.

































"I never loved you, and I will never be."



















"Please tell me that you didnt mean what you've just said."











i burst out on tears as soon as I heard him say that thing.













"I mean it."









"Pero, paano, yung mga, you showed to me...."









"Ano ba? Iiyak ka na lang ba talaga diyan? Sa totoo lang, nakakasawa ka na eh."









"i...I gave...i gave you everything I have."









"So?"









"You were my first.. I...i...gave"













"Thanks for the great f*ck. Yan ba ang gusto mong marinig?"











Tumalikod na siya, but I hugged him.







Pero pumiksi siya and it caused me to fall off the floor.







He started walking when I hold his legs, rather I hugged his legs.









"Please, please babe, please, please, don't tell me yoou mean everything you've just said, you're just mad. Please, i'm begging you, please, don't break up with me. Please."







"i just did. 2 weeks ago."









'Please Vash, di ko kaya, di ko kayang mawala ka, please, please Vash, Ayusin natin ito."







"Nakaya mo ngang halikan ang kaibigan ko, ang mag move on hindi?"











"Please babe, just please don't say that you're letting me go."





















"I'm letting you go."